Innocence Lost
A lot of people in China think I’m really young. REALLY young. This is upon first glance, mind you. But, nonetheless, in the past 24 hours alone, I’ve been told I look the following ages: 18, 16, 12, and 8 – although I think the 8 was an exaggeration to mean, “I don’t really know HOW young you look, you just look YOUNG!”
After something I witnessed on the subway yesterday, I’ve decided that the age I exude is in direct relation to the amount of innocence I hold in my heart. I’ve decided (today, at least – for my mind is also very fickle and I’m sure my feelings on the matter will change in a fortnight if not a day or two…) that you look as old as the tragedies you’ve experienced. So, since I’ve not suffered in this life, I look very young.
Anyway, on to the lost innocence I watched flit away in the subway yesterday:
Here I was, on the subway after my overwhelming experience in the underground tunnels beneath the great malls of the Xujiahui neighborhood, and I was focusing on not getting too close to any of the passengers on the subway – it being a hot day and all of us being very sweaty. I had my headphones in and was off in the distance of a Nina Simone song when I heard the rattling of coins right beneath my nose. I looked down to see a girl of maybe 7 or 8 or 10 years shaking a palm full of 1-kuai coins in the face of a young woman sitting down. The young woman didn’t say anything nor did she look like she was going to offer more change to the girl. After about a minute of shaking coins, the young girl dropped to her knees and began tapping her forehead on the young woman’s feet. She only did this two or three times, not seeing any change in the woman’s demeanor and she picked herself up and moved on to the next unwilling passenger. There were two other girls in our car and all three threaded their way through the passengers, going through the same motions.
Then I saw a truly disturbing exchange. One of the girls, tired of the usual attempts, got down on her knees immediately in front of a young man and started banging her head on the man’s knees. He wasn’t going to continue allowing the girl to hit her head on his knees and so, reflexively, he spread his legs so she couldn’t bang her head anymore. She was expecting this and shoved her head in between his legs quickly, before he knew what was happening. At first, he seemed stunned. It was disturbing enough to see the girl bang her head on his lap, but to see her push herself towards his groin was almost too much and the sentiment was felt by all. The man jumped up, shouting hysterically at the girl, his face bright red. The girl stayed on her knees and put a hand in each of his pockets, repeating, “Ni yao wo? Ni yao wo?” (You want me? You want me?) The man grabbed his wallet and thrust a ten-kuai bill into the girl’s hand and moved towards the door looking shell-shocked. The girl turned to one of the other girls begging for money and winked as if to say, “Now THAT’S how it is done.”
